i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
