y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
