literally had 100 drinks last night.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
