He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
A bitchslap is in order.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
