all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
