Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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