I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
