I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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