i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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