I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
