do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
