Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
