just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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