You work out of a Hotel?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
