Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
