that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
