so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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