You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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