More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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