mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
