she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
