i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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