THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Randomize
