What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
