I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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