So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
