dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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