C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
