new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
