I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
