their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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