I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
