I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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