I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
