Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
