I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
