Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
