just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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