I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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