There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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