yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
