Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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