mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How naked do you want me to be?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
