It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
