if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
