I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
