And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
