I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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