; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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