dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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