Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
