today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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