I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
