So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
