Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
